Friday, April 8, 2011

Peace is the Storm

My Step DD expects me to call her anytime there is any change in her dad's health condition because it is her right to know everything after all she was his daughter first and my husband second. She believes her dad still owes her for her parents divorce 16 years ago, and our DSs and I are trying to ignore her. 

I have tried to explain to her that he does have his good days and his bad days and he is the most stable as he has been in 4 years (actually broke a record of staying out of the hospital for 13 months), and when he has his bad days the thing he needs is for quiet and calmness, not for me to be on the phone calling others letting them know. In the past I have let her know that if she called him and asked calmly how he's doing he will honestly answer her. We invite and her family to every family party and significant event we have and have also invited over for just dinner and fun. She cancels more often than not and I do understand as they do have busy lives, but its hard when she turns it around to us not including her.

I sought the counseling of my pastor and he reminded me that when we marry we leave our family and are joined to our husband. If she spent her energy on her husband and would willing forgive my DH of the past maybe her marriage would not be struggling. Our pastor suggested I advise my DH that when talking to my step-DD keep things in the present and future, if she tries to bring up the past remind her its in the past, if she refuses hang up. My DH's mental and emotional health are too fragile for what she wants to bring up again, and she has been aware of it. My DH agrees that this would help him but afraid of the fireworks that may come for her, I reminded him that he has already sought and received God's forgiveness and we can't control her reaction but we can refuse to listen to her whining and complaining over what we can not change.

This week she sent my DH and I a lengthy vent email in which she wanted a response to, and its clear to see in the first sentence it was written out of anger and meant to take blows at my DH. I did not and will not show it to him, he's still recovering from their phone conversation last Thursday. I just responded correcting the facts she had wrong that pertained to the present but made no mention of the past.  Her response was very hard to take as it attacks me for being mad that she is Daddy's Little Girl.  I'm biting my tongue as she is no longer Daddy's Little Girl but Joe's wife.

I am thankful for the peace God as given me by responding in such a matter as I have, I fear pushing either her or my DH too far emotionally then they can handle. 

Tuesday, June 8, 2010

Wheew.....what a beginning of our Summer Vavation

This past weekend was to be a fun filled relaxing weekend celebrating the beginning of our boys summer break and the graduation of friends and family.

Friday I picked up our youngest, M2, from school then went to the high school band room to pick up our oldest, Alex. There we heard his band teacher call the UW Pioneer Band Camp director to ensure that Alex would be able to play bari sax but if he couldn't due to the number already signed up than Alex is great with the tenor and alto sax as well and a class A player. You talk about end the year on a good note!! My son was all smiles as he heard this conversation as he knows his teacher well enough the she only says what she believes.

From the school we headed home for down time before heading to Sauk for my niece's graduation. It was a beautiful ceremony and also a very warm one, they moved it indoors due to rain and there is no air conditioning in the gym. Afterwards we took pictures then headed to my sister's where we were staying over night so we could head to Race for the Cure together Saturday morning.

Upon getting to my sister's I recieved the tragic news that while my brother and his friend, were working on a tractor, there was an accident, my brother was ok but his friend did not make it.  Both famillies were there at the time and witnessed the accident.  Please keep them in prayer.

Saturday morning we awoke to do the Race for the Cure, that was an experience and a half. I have walked a few 5ks before but never amonst 12,000 people. Needless to say the pace was somewhat slow but fun. We accomplished our goals, which was to simply finish and have fun for our first crowded walk. My husband, Scott, and M2 did their 1 mile fun walk and did well. Saturday afternoon while Katie and family were closing down the 4H rootbeer stand Scott and I bought some things for supper and chilled at the farm. The afternoon and evening were somber as we vegged not even watching what was on tv and chatted. It was an earlier night than most for all of us.

Sunday we awoke refreshed, gathered our things and headed from my sister's to my brother's . We had lunch, listened, played with our niece and nephew's, and then brought one of my nephew's home for the night. We watched some Scooby-Doo before heading to bed. 

Monday morning found us at Roxanne's for horseback riding, mule driving and barn cleaning.  Then we headed back to Ben's for a late lunch and to stay with Alex and the kiddos while Ben and Kate spent time with Andy's family talking and finalizing preparations for his services.

We are still heading to Door County for the weekend, it will be a day later than planned so we may all go to Andy's funeral.  I think we are all looking forward to it as it'll be a quieter setting hopefully more peaceful.

Friday, May 14, 2010

My May Day 2010

So I'm still figuring out how to link all my sites into one easy for everyone to follow format so please be patient with me as I'm sure to goof up a time or two.

But if you follow this link it should take you to my daily updated Spark Page where I track not just physical health but emotional, spiritual, and mental health as well.

Happy Blogging!

Where Have I Been?

Wow, its been awhile since I've been on here, almost a year to be exact.

So what have I been doing over the course the the last 11 months?

Well the picture on the left is on of many taken Easter Sunday (April 4, 2010) of Scott, Alex and Matthew at our favorite spot. Devil's Lake State Park (unfortunately it was a short visit as it was cool, windy and a storm was on its way)

This past year has also marked
  • me stepping down to be shift supervisor instead of store manager
  • Scott staying out of the hospital for a year, his health has stablized and he's been walking around our block (a 3.1 mile walk)
  • Alex is almost done with his sophmore year and its been a no running year due to his growth spurt, he also had 6 events at district solo/ensemble all receiving highest score possible 3 moving to state 2 out of 3 getting a 1st at state
  • Matthew is almost done with 3rd grade, he has improved is reading from being 14 months behind to 4 months ahead in skill and comphrension, his spelling is only a month behind, math is now his sticky (or icky as he would say) subject
  • We are all still active in our Awana program, Scott and I as commanders, Alex a leader-in-training, and Matthew as a help and T&T clubber
This year my goal is to lose 100 pounds by next summer!! Not impossible but hard, I am following the Spark diet (which emphasises lifestyle change - excersize and food tracking vs starvation) and sticking to my quiet time to stay positive.
We do have some camping planned for this year and a short visit with my bestest friend, keep watch for pictures.

Wednesday, June 3, 2009

Time to set new Goals

This is me 51 weeks ago, I haven't lost or gained any weight since then. Which for awhile was my goal, to maintain and stop gaining. Now my current goal is to lose 3 to 5 pounds every 2 weeks while keeping up with my nowrmal activities. I will be doing this via Wii Fit, walking, balance ball, and taking huge steps to eat alot healthier. Its already driving my boys crazy as we have been having them do the same.
My other goal is to get my Shaklee business up and slowly building. I am really excited about their products, their goals, and the fact they are over 50 years old and have always been green.
So now its time to relax.

Thursday, April 16, 2009

Our Matthew, enjoying his ride WWWAAAYYYYY back in October. He's been ansty to get out again, but the weather doesn't always cooperate with our schedules.
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Saturday, March 21, 2009

What should I do?

So with everything going on there is alot of varied opions on what I should be doing for Scott, the boys, my team at the store, Awana at church, and myself. I really am trying to do the best I know to care for al the above and NOT lose myself in the process. I know it doesn't seem to be working as I am physically out of shape and tired ALOT, but I am doing the best I can with what I have and ensuring that those involved have not lost a sense of their independence, and are able to continue to grow and get better at what they are doing.

I know I am not perfect and look to my mom and the rest of my family for help, and I am trying to get better in my prioritizing. It has been recommended by a few that I should get away from everything for a few days, including Scott and the boys. I am relucant to do so because knowing myself it would not be relaxing.

There's been alot of debate in how my mom is going about her weight loss, I am in flavor in whatever she and dad decides. I hink her physical and emotional health wil greatly improve with the option she is leaning towards. She has tried so many diets and they work for awhile, her sidetrack in my opinion is my dad. My dad LOVES to eat, and he sabotages anyones diet. It is one thing to try to eat less, it is another ti try to eat less when there is one person in the house who is always eating whatever, whenever he or she wants.

Scott and I are doing are best to eat what we like, but smaller portions and excersizing more often to try to as a couple and family get back into shape and stay there. I maybe looking into a weight loss program that helps reteach me how to eat and stay active without doing the "starve yourself diet" then go back to the old habits once the weight is off.

My Career:

I don't have answers for what I will be doing in the near future, for the time being I am secure in my role at Starbucks. Can I say that I see myself there in the year or years to come? I don't know, only God has that answer. I have researched whatelse is available in the area that I am qualified for and that will most adapt to the schedule I need for life and I don't have many options that will have a steady income. There are some that have very appealing hours, but minnimum pay that the rest is on commision, other opportunities are steady 5 day work weeks (Monday thru Friday even) but I don't have much information about salary (other then its steady) or benefts yet.

Well that's some of what has been weighing on my mind lately.